What Your Ordinary Life Leaves Behind

I’ve spent years circling the same question: what does my ordinary life leave on the floorboards others walk on? Not a keynote. Not a legacy project. Not a viral post. Just the daily grain: paying the bill before it festers, apologizing before it curdles, answering a kid’s question without flattening it with hurry. Small gestures. That’s exactly why they matter.

Money Comes First

Money is blunt. It clarifies. Keep a slice of everything you earn—ten percent is a good myth to aim at. Live below what’s in your hand. Let time do its slow work. Margin is tender. When the tire blows or the hospital calls, you meet it with cash, not favors borrowed from friends who are already stretched. It’s not virtue. It’s insulation. Insulation keeps you from snatching someone else’s light when your room goes dark. I’ve seen the opposite too—a man borrowing dignity in small increments until there’s nothing left. That sticks.

Order Comes Second

Chaos is heavy, and it weighs on everyone near you. Do the dishes before the sink overflows. Write tomorrow’s three things tonight. Stay inside your circle of control until it grows by inches you can actually measure. Not a leather planner or rules for pens. Rhythm. Pick a sequence that survives contact with a Tuesday afternoon and relearn it after every collapse. Rhythm keeps you present for the person in front of you because you’re not constantly catching up to yourself. Show up steady; others steady themselves. That stability is invisible, but it’s a gift.

Power Comes Third

Power exists, whether I admit it or not. Rooms tilt. Attention moves. Cruelty sometimes wears a good haircut and opens meetings well. I don’t study Greene like a playbook—I read it like weather. I don’t have to admire a cold front, but I do better carrying a coat. Learn who gets heard and who gets cut off. Learn which jokes drop ceilings. Then use that literacy for widening. Repeat the quiet idea in a meeting and attach your name. Hold the door for a voice that would otherwise exit. Decline the casual meanness that earns the easy laugh. Power is permanent; generosity with it is a daily choice. Local acts matter: don’t reshare the heated screenshot, blur the kid’s name, give credit in the hallway no one will applaud.

Protect Wonder

Lately, I’m scared of something softer: routines that starve curiosity. Rendell never preaches, but she shows it. Curiosity dies by degrees when adults answer only to close loops. I see it in how fast we finish a child’s sentence, how automatically we correct instead of listening, how we reward the shiny and ignore the slow. Protecting wonder isn’t a project. It’s climate control. Leave a magnifying glass on the low shelf. Answer a question with a question. Let a silence last one beat longer. The world fills that beat with a theory, and you’ve just loaned them a self. You don’t need a curriculum; you need a pause button and the discipline not to press it.

Leave a Comet-Tail

I picture a comet-tail—the trace, not the flare. Small verbs: fund, mend, teach, wait. Save margin so a future accident stays an accident. Keep rhythm so you can be present. Guard younger attention like you check a smoke alarm—regularly, without flourish. Make your arc a marker: here is safe to pause; here you won’t be laughed away; here a question fits.

Invisible Work Matters

This work is unphotogenic. It happens in kitchen light, Tuesday night, deciding whether to open another tab or finally answer the email that’ll prevent five others tomorrow. Let someone cut in line. Hand a neighbor the Wi-Fi password without ceremony. Tell the truth about what you billed for because the client’s kid might be watching.

This is not legacy language. It’s house language—keys, apologies, your share of the bill. Character is a private public service. If by Saturday the path behind you is slightly clearer for a stranger—especially the quiet kid learning by watching—you’ve done the work. Not because it’s noble, but because it’s neighborly. It won’t reverse headlines. It won’t get thanked. But for one hallway, one kitchen table, one conversation, it changes the air. That has to be enough.

References (inspiration)

George S. Clason, The Richest Man in Babylon

Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power

Ruth Rendell, An Unkindness of Ravens

Through My Own Eyes: Lessons from My Journey

Have you ever paused and really observed yourself? Not just your habits, but your choices, your patterns, the way you handle people, work, and life?

I have. And what I’ve seen so far has been… enlightening, messy, sometimes funny, and always educational. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way:

1. Know Yourself Early

I’ve always been methodical. I enjoy analyzing, observing, and thinking before acting. Early on, I realized introspection isn’t a flaw — it’s a strength. Self-awareness helps you make better decisions rather than reacting blindly.

Lesson: Self-awareness beats blind ambition, every single time.

2. Solitude is Strength

I spend a lot of time alone — reading, reflecting, Netflix, thinking. Solitude isn’t loneliness. It’s clarity. It’s when you confront uncomfortable truths about yourself and notice patterns you’d otherwise ignore.

Lesson: Alone doesn’t mean isolated. It means prepared.

3. Connections Matter, But Choose Wisely

Humans are unpredictable. I’ve often sought comfort in friends, sometimes over a drink, sometimes a late-night call. That’s fine. But not every energy is worth your time. Quality always beats quantity.

Lesson: Connection is a choice, not a requirement.

4. Mistakes Are Mirrors

I’ve stressed, overthought, and made plenty of mistakes. But mistakes aren’t failures — they’re data. They show you what works, what doesn’t, and what to adjust next time. Treat them like mirrors, not punishments.

Lesson: Learn from mistakes ruthlessly.

5. Observe, Don’t Judge

Society, systems, people — messy, complex, unpredictable. Watching without judgment helps you spot patterns, inefficiencies, and opportunities that most people miss.

Lesson: Observation gives you leverage where others see chaos.

6. Pursue Passions, Big or Small

I have my obsessions —  Marvel, House MD, dry humor, Instagram musings. They’re more than hobbies; they’re mirrors revealing what I value: intelligence, resilience, humor.

Lesson: Your interests are windows into your values. Respect them.

7. Look Ahead, Grounded

Life is continuous. Every day teaches, tests, and shapes you. The key isn’t validation or comparison. It’s living deliberately, refining your worldview, and focusing on what truly matters.

Lesson: Life isn’t about perfect answers. It’s about deliberate questions.

Closing Thought:

Your life is messy, imperfect, and entirely yours. Own it. Reflect on it. Learn from it. Laugh at it. And above all — know yourself, unapologetically.

Dare To Be DiFfEreNt

When the new Central Bank of Kenya Governor Dr. Patrick Njoroge, 54, stated that he is single by choice, eyes rolled. Many people had a lot to say about this unique situation. Some embraced it and others were totally against it. But the bottom line is that it is a choice. That’s something that many of us forget. That we actually have a choice in many matters about our own lives. We are quick to conform to the ordinary. We want to be normal. We want to avoid becoming a spectacle, so we go with the flow. What happens is that we start living for others instead of for ourselves.

We cannot and should not be entirely alike with everyone else. Every human being is born with a brain. That brain is unique. That’s why we all develop different talents, voices and signatures. We are unique. Granted, we all go through the same motions of life i.e. sleep at night, wake up in the morning, cause a lot of traffic on our roads at rush-hour all because we are doing the same things at the same time. 

But this ‘communal’ way of doing things can mistakenly delude us into thinking that things have to be done in a certain way. Since schools are opened at 8am and closed at 5pm, we tend to think that there are things you just don’t do. There are pre-defined norms of life for everyone to follow. And this is fine. But there are other things in life that are left to our own discretion, each and every one of us, individually. 

For instance, you decide what to have for breakfast, whether or not to go to work. You decide what clothes to put on, and whether to polish your shoes or not. I believe that to be truly happy, one needs to do what they really want to do and not to give in to societal pressure to conform to all others. 

Sure people who’ve been there, on the path you’re on can kindly offer you some advice. But it ends there. They can only offer you suggestions, not principles to live your life by. Take nobody’s word for it. Do it yourself. The matter of marriage as opposed to celibacy, to buy a house or to rent, to be tidy or untidy, to be mean or friendly are all matters of choice. You decide what you want. Only You! Let nobody convince you otherwise. 

The single people are eager to get married; the married people wish they would have waited. Divorce rates are on the rise. Therefore, no one is a master of anything. Just do what you want and you’ll be fine. Anyone who can’t stand being your friend because of the choices you make does not deserve your friendship.

Your relationship will otherwise be based on several contingencies. What ever happened to unconditional love? Anything you want to do, do it! And make no apologies while you’re at it. Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do whatever you feel in your heart to be right, for you will be criticized anyway; you’ll be damned if you don’t, damned if you do.” Once again, do what you want and have fun, making no apologies along the way! 

Believe the Story is So Far from Over

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists…it is real…it is possible... it’s yours! The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, belief, faith and the fear and heartache of what lies ahead. Remember, the road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.” Those were some of the words once uttered by Catherine Ndonye of KBC English Service Sundowner radio show. 

In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to feel dejected when your dreams don’t come true. However, I would like you to do what oxygen does to a freshly extinguished splint of wood—it rekindles the fire! You must come up with your own form of oxygen to ensure that you realize your goals and aspirations no matter what the cost. It would be comforting to know that you are not alone in this struggle. The apostle Peter once wrote in the Bible book 1 Peter 5:9: “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” Peter pointed out the sufferings of others to strengthen the first century Christians. Knowing that you are not alone in the fight to greatness is comforting because it makes you realize that your situation is not unique. So many other people are contending as you are. I’m sure you’ve heard psychiatrists who tell their patients that a problem they are facing is a very common one. This alleviates undue anxiety. It helps you realize that somewhere out there is something better, something worth fighting for. 

As much as it is good to know that you are not alone in this, your mind may wander slightly farther afield and start comparing yourself to others who are doing exceedingly well for themselves. You may suddenly realize that you are worthless. At such a time it is advisable to think of the words found in Desiderata: “If you compare yourself with others, you will become vain and bitter. For there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” Indeed, no matter what you achieve today, someone has already achieved more. World records are broken every day. You may be the fastest man on earth today, but tomorrow someone else will defeat you. It therefore boils down to something more important—your reason for the journey. What is your aim? Is it to outsmart or outdo someone else? Climb a mountain so that you can see the world, not so that the world can see you. Do your best in your endeavors and you will reap greatly. Now that is the bottom line. Douglas Malloch once wrote: “If you can’t be a tree, be a bush. If you can’t be a bush be a bit of the grass, but be the greenest grass ever created. We can’t all be captains; we’ve got to be crew. There’s something for all of us here. It is not by size you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.” Everyone has something to offer, even the dull and ignorant. They too have their story. 

Am I therefore professing mediocrity? May that never be so! I know the question that lingers is: “What if my best is not good enough?” Well, good enough to whom? On whose opinion are you basing the best? Is it Forbes Magazine? The Guinness book of world records? You are the creator of your own destiny. Remember the movie My Family’s greatest quote? It goes like this: “If it’s good enough for you, it’s good enough for me.” Is that your philosophy? Does it first come from others then to you? Well, in my humble opinion, it shouldn’t be that way. You first believe in yourself, and then others will believe in you. Therefore, you are the architect and engineer of your dreams. You set your own standards then the world’s mediocrity will bow down to your high flying awesomeness. 

What is required is faith in the unknown. Jesus said that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we could be able to command the elements of nature. You just have to believe that it will turn out so. Stephen Curtis Chapman in his song The Glorious Unfolding puts it this way: “I know this is not anything like you thought the story of your life was going to be. And it feels like the end has started closing in on you. But it’s just not true. There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold and this is going to be a glorious unfolding. Just you wait and see and you will be amazed. You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over.”

Some people start early, others later on. Much later on! It is never too late. I once read a true story of a sixty-seven year-old man who decided that he wanted to become a lawyer. He studied for seven years and failed the bar exam twice! He finally began to practice law at the age of seventy-eight. Sheer determination drove him to greater heights. Oliver Wendell Holmes once said: “Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it time runs out.” How sad! Put your mind to something and no force on earth can stop you from achieving it. You are the creator of your destiny. Indeed, as Joseph Campbell once said, “follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” Take the first step today. Make a wish and believe it can come true. Many have done it. You just have to believe! By your believing, you will turn the biggest skeptic who is yourself, into a staunch believer!